just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
