Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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