I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
