Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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