Midget sex pt 2 tonight
only you would photoshop your dick
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
