i may or may not be watching the land before time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
