I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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