Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
