so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
