**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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