He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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