Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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