Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
