So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
