God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
