I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
porn star boner night. come get it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My feet surprised me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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