He told me they were just razor bumps!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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