turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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