Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
