well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im drinking this country out of the recession.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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