Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
