How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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