i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
