wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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