Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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