Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
