The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
