I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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