**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
