Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
