Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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