Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
