I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
