God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
