that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
