I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
