so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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