Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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