He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
