what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
