He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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