Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
