i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
