I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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