Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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