the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
