we made out on top of his cat.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
