The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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