i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
