I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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