I don't think brook has ever known best
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
