oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he was CRYING into my vagina
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
